Side Effects
by YouProbablyDontKnowMe
Summary: Set directly after 3x09 She would have given anything for him to be alive, but this was just too much...


Disclaimer – I do not own Arrow or any of the characters mentioned. This story is for entertainment purposes only.

'**To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure'  
>– J.K Rowling<strong>

She bit her nails in anticipation, her thoughts racing at one thousand per second. She was so distracted, lost in her own mind that she didn't notice the soft clank of the door as it swung shut, so when Diggle placed a soft hand on her shoulder, she literary jumped.

"Sorry," the older man apologized numbly, "didn't mean to scare you."

"It's the nerves." She replied with a distracted look on her face, her heart-beat slowly lowering itself beck to normal

"Felicity you need to get some rest." Digg said as he looked at the woman who had become his younger sister to him, with concern.

"I can't John," he was surprised at the vulnerability in her voice but even more so at the words she used. She rarely ever called him John; always saying that the name was too common for a man like Diggle. "Whenever I close my eyes, all I can think about is the possibility of Oliver not coming back." At the last words, her voice broke. She bit her lip in an attempt to keep the tears at bay.

"Hey," he scolded softly, bringing her in for a brotherly hug. Her arms immediately wrapped around him and she took comfort in his strength, "don't think like that, you-we can't afford to. Not now." His voice was barely above a whisper, but somehow it held immense courage. With a soft kiss to the top of her head, Digg pulled away and silently dragged Felicity to his car.

Instead of taking her home, he took her to the apartment that he and Lyla shared. With one look Lyla knew exactly how Felicity felt and she did everything in her power to relieve the burden of awaiting news of life or death that night. She ended up falling asleep next to Felicity on the couch later on, but moved to her own bed at exactly 4:23 a.m.

That night Felicity's dreams were plagued with horrifying images that she knew would be edged into her mind until then end of time. She saw Oliver hanging from a tree with a sword impaling his heart, but the worst part was the blood. Blood covered his eyes, hung from his open mouth, dripped soundly from his fingertips. Blood coated his abdomen, leaked from gashes on his chest and legs and blood rolled down his face from his head.

'Why didn't you love me?' he asked in these terrifying dreams over and over again, his voice hoarse. 'Why Felicity!? Why?!' she could hear the rough grumble, his words hitting her like a whip of fire, assaulting her eardrums. The screams and cries kept ringing in her head and she begged him to listen, begged him to believe that she was truly in love with him, but he just kept on shouting.

Felicity gasped, shooting up straight in her bed before realizing she wasn't at home. Instead, she was on Diggle's white leather couch, sweat dripping from her forehead. She tried to gather her bearings, but her loud intakes of air and internally telling herself to calm down didn't help much. She vaguely remembered Digg walking into the living room, frantic but the images of Oliver's dead body kept on assaulting her mind.

"He has to be okay Digg," she whispered, tears falling freely down her face. The older man just held her closer and whispered comforting words, "I don't know what I would do if he isn't."

"Okay," Diggle said finally after some internal debate, "if we don't hear anything by tomorrow, we'll go and look from him."

"Thank you," she said with a small smile. For the first time since Sara died, Felicity felt something embedding itself into her chest. It was hope, and it felt damn good to have it back.

The next day passed without a word from the League, making Felicity even more on edge than before. She hadn't been to work since Oliver left, which was 3 days ago, calling in and telling Ray that a family member of hers was ill. She snapped at everyone, from Roy to the bartender at Verdant and her mind was never at ease.

A pit started to grow in the depths of her stomach and made the world around her seem dull and lifeless. In 24 hours, Felicity's entire appearance had changed. She didn't smile that day, not once. Roy had tried to talk to her, but all she did was shut him down.

When Saturday morning had arrived, Diggle had kept his promise and the team begun a long hike to a secure location that was at the top of a mountain. The climate was cruel and unforgiving; Roy feared Felicity would get hyperthermia, and by the time the sun had sat, Digg, Felicity and Roy were only a few miles away from their destination.

"We could set up camp?" Roy suggested, his teeth chattering in the cold. Digg agreed but Felicity was reluctant. After some convincing she realized that she would just be dead weight if she wasn't at her fullest, so the team begun to set up camp.

That was the night Felicity's life changed forever. At first she had left the camp sight to get some alone time, needing to get away from the sympathetic looks and false reassurance. It was then that she noticed a glowing spot. It had to have been 30 feet away, but against the white snow, it seemed clear as day.

Without thinking, Felicity strolled over to it. As she got closer she realized the green glow wasn't an it, but a who. He heart started pounding as she ran the remaining 12 feet to the silhouette lying on the harsh ground.

"Diggle! Roy!" she screamed out as the flutter of hope made itself known in her heart. She felt like her feet weren't carrying her fast enough, and when she finally reached the sleeping figure, she cried tears of joy and dropped to her knees.

She could hear Roy and Digg approaching, but made no move to leave her place. Right there, laying on the ground in front of her was a living breath Oliver Queen. She didn't blink and only moved to wipe the tears from her eyes, afraid that if she did it would all be a dream, but she did take his hand in her and that's when his eyes started to flutter open.

"I love you," she said immediately, her fear of him never knowing the truth put to rest. He blinked up at her, almost…confused. "God damn it, Oliver I love you."

"I love Laurel." And with those three words, Felicity's world shattered. "Who the Hell are you?"

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I know this chapter ends on a bad cliff, but hey, its Arrow!**


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